When mothers ask if they can help it’s because they like being with you. I know that now that I’ve been a mother. But so many times, my mother offered me help and I turned her down, not realizing she really just wanted to spend time with me, or be a part of my special event.

When she wanted to take a picture of me in my marching band uniform, I was impatient. I was in a rush to leave for my junior prom when she wanted my picture in my prom dress. I told her I didn’t need help putting on my flowers at my wedding.

At the time, I thought it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe not to me… But it was to her. Why was I so selfish? Couldn’t I stop and see that it mattered to her? Why was I so blind to her feelings?

I always thought that I was a kind and compassionate person. Overall, I didn’t think I was selfish. Yet, I did not see how important these things were to her then, when it seems so obvious to me now. Why are we this way when we are young?

If I had any piece of advice to a young mother who is experiencing this I would tell her to be honest with your child and explain, “I would like to share your joy and your heartache because I love you. It is part of being a mother.”

I am so sad that I do not have more time with my mom and I miss her terribly. I think of the times that I did not consider her feelings and I regret them painfully.

My parents were so proud of me. There was a time when certain things would ‘bug’ me about them as I grew up. But now I know and can say that no one in my life ever supported me and loved me the way my parents did. They always believed in me. They always trusted me. That’s a big one; I was trustworthy but not everyone trusted me like they did. I could always count on them.

It is hard that I lost my mother when I was just 33 with three young children. I still had so much life and learning to go through yet and there are so many things I did not get to ask her and talk to her about. I’d give anything to have more time to share things with her.

Young mothers let your children know why it’s important to you to be a part of their life. Then, when they grow, step back and let them invite you in so they don’t push you away; that is heart wrenching.